Time to prove I'm a modern mummy!

The boy child sat down to do his homework tonight (due in tomorrow, naturally!) and explained that he needed help planning a blog. I often pride myself on my creative sometimes mildly hilarious input where the kids' homework is concerned (when they actually do it) so I put on my smug face and remarked "Mummy used to blog!"

What I actually meant was that about a million years ago I made a few online diary entries that amounted to nothing more than the bored, occasionally delusional ramblings of a new mum who needed that something - anything - that provided the ever-elusive "Me Time". I soon discovered that blogging was not my forte and buried the log-in details deep, deep in my psyche. I think regression is probably the only thing that will enable the details to surface and, quite frankly, I'm not prepared to discover that I was a dock yard hooker or a doomed sailor in a previous life. Nope. THANKFULLY The Boy Child didn't ask me anymore about the subject but it got me thinking... I'm in the final year of my 20's, I don't have many hobbies and technology is evolving at an alarming rate - if I want to do this, I need to do it now. Before my brain deteriorates any further and the only thing I'm capable of is obliterating sweeties in Candy Crush Saga.

So here I am again. Trying to prove that, at the ripe old age of 29, I am still a hip, with-it mum. Or a sick mum. Whatever word replaced "cool" anyway! Preferably not sick... that sounds all kinds of wrong. Included in these posts will be general observations on life, mainly mine. If you are an absolute shit I may include you... but on the sly. With a code name. Like Shitty McGobshite. Should the shoe fit, feel free to wear it! The odd review may appear if I should stumble across an item that nobody could live without EVER, and a fair bit about the kids is likely to be included - The Boy Child, The Girl Child and The Banshee (also a girl child but 99% Banshee).

Things you should know:

• My mentality does not correlate with my age. Sometimes in a positive sense but mostly in the negative.
• I find myself hysterically funny. I'm usually the only one laughing. This is not unusual, I think it's healthy for adults to be capable of laughing at themselves.
• I am a member of Slimming World. It is highly likely that, at least once a week, you will be subjected to a bitch/boast post... dependent entirely on whether or not I lose weight. Weigh in is a Tuesday.
• I'm a big fan of The Stone Roses.
• I do not read newspapers.
• I do not listen to modern music. I'm stuck in a 90's time warp. And I don't mean Steps.
• If you don't find farts funny, we cannot be friends. Ever.
• My language can be fucking awful.
• I am desperately trying to cling to my youth.

So that's it. I wish I was a little more interesting. Or more of an enigma. But I haven't the time or the inclination to be either of those things. I'm not likely to bungee jump, or lead the world in a mission for global harmony. I'm far more likely to forget to pay for a school trip or succumb to road rage. Soz.